- I wish my wallet came with free refills
- My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do
- As your friend, I will always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing
- Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow
- You’ll never truly know a woman until she is drunk and mad at you
- A positive attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
- When you get angry, take a breath and count to 10. Throw a punch at 8. No one expects that
- If I won the laziness award, I’d ask someone to go and get it for me
- Before you marry a person make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are
- My children love my mother, but I tell them she is not the same woman I grew up with. She is an old woman trying to get into heaven now
Funny quips. Ten is the right number. I should stop there. However as a reactionary, I feel compelled to react.
11. My ignorance is exceeded by my arrogance. Sometimes its the other way around.
12. Some call me a smart ass. They are half right. I’m not smart.
Richard:
Thanks for numbers 11 and 12.